Parental Advisory: How to Involve Parents in Wedding Plans

Hello Lovelies,

One of the hardest parts of wedding planning is managing your wants as a couple versus the wants of EVERYbody else. Most of the time "everybody else" is in reference to your parents. There are some parents who look at their child's wedding day as one of the proudest moments of their lives. Most parents want to be involved, want to finance it, and expect to have SOME say on the outcome of the day. So what do you do if you bump heads with your parents? What if they are trying to control everything? What if their vision is totally opposite from yours?? Well I hope I can provide some insight into these questions for you! I will just post the most common questions that arise in regards to parental involvement.

What if we just can NOT  agree on a certain thing?
Well the last thing you want to do is sever a relationship with your parents because of a wedding. Weddings should be joyful and tranquil, you want as much peace as possible surrounding your new union. So my suggestion will be to sit with your parents in a neutral setting and discuss how you feel open and honestly. Oftentimes, it's hard for parents to view their children as actual ADULTS and they still see you as the small baby they brought home from the hospital 20+ years ago. So it's important you approach them in a respectful manner while showing them that you are not a child anymore. If this doesn't work then try finding an older person who can serve as a mediator. You want to select someone who is neutral to the situation and who you can trust to be honest with both parties. This could be a clergy member, family member, wedding planner, or family friend. 


How do I get my parents to release control?
Well, my question here will be...are they paying for it?? Some parents will write a check and let the couple choose to do whatever they would like. Then there are some who will write the check BUT expect their needs and wants to be met. In this situation it's important to discuss the terms of what comes with the monetary gift. This is where you express what your visions are to your parents and you make an attempt to get them on the same page with them. 

How do I get them to buy into my vision?
This is one area where having a planner may be useful. Having a professional that can help find that balance between what you want and what your parents want is essential. Show them pictures, show them videos, take them to nice weddings with you. Help them buy into the experience with you!

Do you have any other questions about parents and wedding planning?? If you drop them in the comments I can try to answer them to best of my ability?? How were your parents during your wedding planning process?? Do you have any other advice to give?? We want to hear from you!!

 

 

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Wedding Registry? What to do?

Hello Lovelies!

Today I want to talk about something that most people think may be a rather simple part of wedding planning, but can turn out to be yet another daunting task in the wedding planning process. That would be wedding registries. It's important to follow etiquette rules when putting together a registry. You want to register for gifts you will actually use, but be careful to not turn your guests off completely. Some people think registries are tacky but the way I look at it is, if people are going to bring gifts ANYWAY why not make sure it's stuff you will actually utilize??

DO
*Set your registry up early! Don't procrastinate on this because people will want to send gifts as soon as your engagement news gets out.
* Register for a wide range of gifts at different price points. Not everyone can afford to get you a $500 vacuum cleaner or $300 bedsheets. There's nothing wrong with including these things on your registry but be sure to have an even balance.
*Feel free to ask for "non-traditional" registry items if that's what represents you and your fiancee. For instance, if you are avid wine lovers, a wine registry is a possibility. 
*Honeymoon registries have increased in popularity over the years and it's a way for your guests to donate cash towards honeymoon activities.
* Send out thank you cards as soon as possible! It's just common courtesy :-)
 

DONT
*Register at just one place, two or three are ideal and make sure that at least one of the places has a brick and mortar store that is easily accessible. Not everyone likes online shopping.
*Ask for cash directly. Most newly married couples would PREFER cash but it should be your guests choice.  It's not polite to demand that.
 

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Newly Engaged?? The Things you should do FIRST!

Hello!! 

Happy New Year again, and I'm sure you guys all enjoyed the holiday season. Most especially, the lucky ladies who are now engaged!! Everyone knows the holiday season brings out romance and love! So a HUGE Congratulations to all of our beautiful readers who are now on the path to wedded bliss! 

I just thought I would take this opportunity to talk to you about the first steps that a newly engaged couple should take. I know that planning a wedding can be extremely overwhelming since there are so many things involved. It's hard to know where to start. So here are some things I think you should do first.

1. HIRE A PLANNER!!!  Yes I know you've heard this over and over but honestly having a wedding planner is one of the best things you can do before you get too deep into planning. A planner will help you pick vendors that they know and trust, will take control of your budget and help you manage it, will listen to your visions and help make them a reality. If the first thing you've done is hire a planner then you are good to go! I'm not saying a planner will eliminate ALL stress (although they can) but they will most definitely assist in avoiding and/or alleviating the wedding planning blues.

2. START SOLIDIFYING YOUR VISION- Whether you're a bride who's been planning her wedding day for years or a bride who has never thought about it before getting engaged, it is SO important to start gathering and streamlining your ideas. Once you get engaged the fairytale is over, it is NOW reality and you have to sit down with your fiancee' and discuss what you want your wedding day to be like. Think about weddings you have been to, what did you like? What did you dislike? Visit wedding blogs LIKE OURS and get on Pinterest, follow wedding pages on Instagram and Facebook. Start collecting inspirational pictures and try to select your theme.  Look out for colors, flowers, centerpieces, dresses, details, and things of that nature that catch your eye. Every bride on the planet has ONE thing in common: they want their wedding day to be beautiful and represent her and her fiancee'. So it's important to be able to translate this to all of your vendors once you begin the vendor selection process. Vendors always appreciate well-prepared brides who have a good idea of what they want and are able to convey that. Help them help you :-)

3. SET A REALISTIC BUDGET & KEEP SAVING- It's a well known fact that weddings cost alot of money. It's important that your budget is aligned with your vision. Do your research on how much things cost and build in some cushion just in case. 

4. START MARRIAGE COUNSELING- In my opinion this is one of THE most important things an engaged couple can do. I know many churches will require this before you can get married in their church but even if it's not required you should still seek it out. I would suggest Christian marriage counseling because it's important to learn how God intends for marriage to be. With all of the negative, messed up messages about marriage out there today it's good to know the RIGHT way to do things. Marriage counseling also helps you learn new things about your partner and gives you tools to make your marriage a successful one. If any of you are looking for an excellent marriage counseling program please contact me at bcgblogger@gmail. com and I can give you the information for one.

5. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY- Everyone expects their wedding to be the day where they look absolutely PERFECT. So many men and women set goals to, clear up skin, grow hair longer, lose weight, get Lasik eye surgery, etc. I would suggest that you set your goals and begin working on them immediately. There is nothing worse than waiting till a month before your wedding and taking drastic measures to reach whatever your goals are. Also, try as much as possible to stay stress-free because stress typically has poor effects on your body. So stay hydrated, don't skip meals, stay away from crappy food, and get lots of sleep. Although your appearance on your wedding day is very important, how you feel is even more important. SO take care of yourself. 

What do you think of this list? Is there anything you would add? 

Stay Beautiful My Loves,

Memi

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