How to Thursdays: Getting the groom involved!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hey Guys!! It's that time againnnnn for How-To Thursdaysssss (in my best game show hosting voice, LOL!)

I know I tend to focus a lot on the girly stuff, because let's be real here, most guys have NOT been planning their weddings in their minds for years and years. Even after the engagement there are some guys who want little or nothing to do with wedding planning! I have a couple of my male friends that are getting married and they are VERY involved in the process so this post is dedicated to them! Hi-FIVE to those grooms out there who are involved and LOVING it!! There are some women who do not even ATTEMPT to involve their fiancee' unless it is about writing checks!! It should not be like that! It is a day for BOTH of you to enjoy and rejoice. If they want to be involved don't push them away, it's not fair, lol! To the ladies who don't know HOW to get their man involved show him this post so they know even though they may not care about linens, flowers, and silverware, there are other things they can do to get involved and feel like they are a part of one of the most important days of your lives together!

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I found some cool pointers from a wedding planning site that gave some really cool ways to keep the groom IN THE LOOP!

1) Have one-on-one discussion with your groom. - Find out his likes and dislikes and what are the MOST important things that HE wants at the wedding. It's okay that you want a pink princess wedding but will HE feel comfortable with that? If not, try and compromise! For example if he wants to hire breakdancers to perform and you disagree, ask if you can have your pink wedding and he can have his breakdancers! Give and Take is KEY!

2) Make wedding planning fun for the groom. Try to lower his anxiety about wedding planning and boost his self-confidence. For example, compliment him on his creativity, organizational skills, musical tastes, etc. Most guys are not naturally wired to care about the stuff we women care about. So when they show some effort and improvement COMPLIMENT THEM and let them know how much you appreciate the effort!

3) Create manageable tasks that the groom can be involved with and take accountability for, such as ordering the wedding invitations, addressing them and mailing them to your guests. Give him portions to OWN that way he can take pride as well, when everything is a great success!!
4) Ask your groom to what degree he would like to be involved regarding wedding planning. Avoid trying to read his mind about his feelings about being involved in planning your wedding. COMMUNICATION is crucial!!

5) Ask your groom if there is a special area that he would like to be responsible for such as:
  • wedding music
  • flowers for ceremony
  • planning your wedding lunch or dinner menu
  • finding tuxedos or suits for himself and his groomsmen
  • listening to different DJs and bands and selecting his favorite one
  • researching and visiting reception sites
  • planning honeymoon (destination, accommodations, itinerary)
  • selecting and ordering wedding cakes and desserts
6) Work with your groom’s special interests and talents. For example, if your groom loves cooking, have him plan the menu for your wedding lunch or dinner. If your groom loves music, have him plan the musical entertainment for your reception.

7) Brides, avoid the “Bridezilla” phenomenon. I know there is a TV show that highlights this behavior, but trust me, it is NOT attractive! A “Bridezilla” is defined by the following behaviors and characteristics:
  • controlling behavior
  • irritability
  • yelling
  • making all the decisions
  • being hard-to-please
  • criticizing the groom’s tastes, ideas and preferences
8) Encourage your groom to think about planning your wedding together as a special, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you two to bond in a unique way and learn more about one another through the wedding planning process.

9) Ensure that you have open and honest discussions about your wedding budget, including the overall budget, budget for ceremony, reception and honeymoon. Discuss what expenses the groom, the bride, the couple, the bride’s parents and the groom’s parents will be responsible for.

10) AVOID fighting over wedding planning and wedding budgets. Finances is the number one topic married couples fight over. Start your marriage on the healthy path by having loving, mature, productive discussions about your wedding finances. I know this one may be a tough one but with proper planning and communication the arguments can be brought to a minimum!

11) Keeping Track. If your fiance is a natural organizer, ask him to keep track of receipts, schedules, contracts, and appointments. Not only will this lighten your load, but also he'll be involved in the planning process.

Last but NOT LEAST, Give Him The Knowledge. The fact that almost every bridal magazine is directed at brides is not lost on your fiance. He may be hesitant to help with planning because he simply doesn't know what's expected of him. Give him a checklist with dates that tasks need to be accomplished. Offer suggestions for each area. Remember, he may not do things exactly the way you might, but that's okay. He's getting the job done.

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I found a SUPER cool site a while ago called,, and it is like "The Knot" or "Martha Stewart Weddings" but for GUYS! It has EVERYTHING from to-do lists, engagement ring calculators, advice on how to deal with bridezillas, HOW to ask the bride's Dad for her hand, and the list goes on! It is really an amazing resource for grooms out there who WANT to be more involved and need advice on how to do it! I'm not a groom but I LOVE the site because the creator's humor actually makes it fun to read! Ladies share it with your beaus, I'm sure they'll enjoy having something to do while you are flipping through bridal mags!

Stay Beautiful My Loves,

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